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Coaches, you can print this out and hand
to parents at your first team meeting.
The role that parents play in the life of a
soccer player has a tremendous impact on their experience. With this in mind, we have
taken some time to write down some helpful reminders for all of us as we approach the
upcoming season. If you should have any questions about these thoughts, please feel free
to discuss it with us, the coaches.
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Let the coaches coach: Leave the
coaching to the coaches. This includes motivating, psyching your child for practice, after
game critiquing, setting goals, requiring additional training, etc. You have entrusted the
care of your player to these coaches and they need to be free to do their job. If a player
has too many coaches, it is confusing for him and his performance usually declines.
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Support the program: Get involved. Volunteer. Help out with fundraisers,
car-pool; anything to support the program.
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Be you child's best fan: Support your child unconditionally. Do not withdraw
love when your child performs poorly. Your child should never have to
perform to win your love.
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Support and root for all players on the team: Foster teamwork. Your child's
teammates are not the enemy. When they are playing better than your child,
your child now has a wonderful opportunity to learn.
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Do not bribe or offer incentives: Your job is not to motivate. Leave this to
the coaching staff. Bribes will distract your child from properly
concentrating in practice and game situations.
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Encourage your child to talk with the coaches: If your child is having
difficulties in practice or games, or can't make a practice, etc., encourage
them to speak directly to the coaches. This "responsibility taking" is a big
part of becoming a big-time player. By handling the off-field tasks, your
child is claiming ownership of all aspects of the game - preparation for as
well as playing the game.
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Understand and display appropriate
game behavior: Remember, your child's self esteem and game performance is at stake. Be
supportive, cheer, be appropriate. To perform to the best of his abilities, a player needs
to focus on the parts of the game that they can control (his fitness, positioning,
decision making, skill, aggressiveness, what the game is presenting them). If he starts
focusing on what he can not control (the condition of the field, the referee, the weather,
the opponent, even the outcome of the game at times), he will not play up to his ability.
If he hears a lot of people telling him what to do, or yelling at the referee, it diverts
his attention away from the task at hand.
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Monitor your child's stress level at
home: Keep an eye on the player to make sure that they are handling stress effectively
from the various activities in his life.
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Monitor eating and sleeping habits: Be sure your child is eating the proper
foods and getting adequate rest.
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Help your child keep his priorities straight: Help your child maintain a
focus on schoolwork, relationships and the other things in life beside
soccer. Also, if your child has made a commitment to soccer, help him
fulfill his obligation to the team.
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Reality test: If your child has come off the field when his team has lost,
but he has played his best, help him to see this as a "win". Remind him that
he is to focus on "process" and not "results". His fun and satisfaction
should be derived from "striving to win". Conversely, he should be as
satisfied from success that occurs despite inadequate preparation and
performance.
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Keep soccer in its proper perspective: Soccer should not be larger than life
for you. If your child's performance produces strong emotions in you,
suppress them. Remember your relationship will continue with your children
long after their competitive soccer days are over. Keep your goals and needs
separate from your child's experience.
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Have fun: That is what we will be trying to do! We will try to challenge
your child to reach past their "comfort level" and improve themselves as a
player, and thus, a person. We will attempt to do this in environments that
are fun, yet challenging. We look forward to this process. We hope you do
to!
Provide courtesy of the
New Hampshire Soccer Association
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